How do I feel?

Last  night was my first time taking my new medication. I’ve been put on Quetapine. I woke up this morning feeling somewhat empty, but not my usual emptiness. It was different, almost as if I had emotions, but they had been locked away in a box in my brain. I have to take them twice a day, and build up my dose, so after just one or two, and feeling so strange, I’m a little apprehensive. Throughout the day I felt mostly numb, at times having small but fleeting moments of sadness. Then came the weird mood. Almost floaty, distant, not really there, but also then hyper and happy. I realized what I was feeling was similar to a high on weed. That’s when the munchies hit me.

No wonder there’s a side effect of weight gain listed on the drug info sheet. I wanted to eat EVERYTHING. I tried to be good, but had no self control. I was gluttonous. Ate a king sized pot noodle, a whole bunch of twix chocolate bars, banana soreen, bread with a thick layer of Nutella, I also had milkshake, and a bag of crisps. Then, I kid you not, a huge amount, and I’m talking enough for 3 people, of pasta in a bologna sauce. Only then did I think I should cut down on the food. Lets hope tomorrow is different!

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