A haze

I’ve been testing out alcohol use with my meds. I thought I’d try something weak, not much happened to be honest. So I drank as I normally would. Got happily drunk, but not excessively drunk as I would normally do. I then did it again last night. Drank maybe a little bit more than the previous experiment, and was drunk, but not to bad. I was tired as hell though. I didn’t get home until 3am, as I went for a stroll with some people I met at the pub, and ended up in the park chatting to my mate Jamie, he walked me home, so I wasn’t alone on the streets.

The biggest effect combining my meds with alcohol is my sleep. I have slept almost two days away, not waking up until early afternoon. I was expecting some sleepy side effects, even without the alcohol I’m tired, I have to nap or I’ll fall asleep on the sofa or at my desk. I’ve had some bad dry mouth too, that’s always expected on new meds. I’m still not sure how to describe my mood, it hasn’t stabilized yet, and I doubt it will for a while, but I do feel … less. Nothing is as intense, my happy moments are however very happy, but very short lived. Then I go back to feeling numb. It’s like auto pilot.

I don’t feel as sad about a certain man anymore. I did re-follow his Twitter though. He uses it for his writing, and he is a very good writer. Sounds like an excuse, but I have enjoyed reading his stories, and I am trying to fill my life with knowledge. Reading more is a big part of that. I’m hazy. I don’t know how I feel about him right now. I suppose that’s better than feeling like slicing my arms and legs open because he left me.

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