Gone home

Land of bear and land of eagle. Land that gave us birth and blessing. Land that called us ever homewards. We will go home across the mountains.

 

I’ve had to move back in with my parents. This means sharing a house with two small children, my mom, dad, brother, and his finance. Its going to be hectic, and stressful, and I’m already going mad. I’ve spent the last two nights sleeping in the back room, which is going to be the living room, once my brother’s moved back in too this weekend. It’s all very crazy here.

This has all happened because my mental health has deteriorated so much. I didn’t feel like I could function living with my housemate. I’ve come to realize that I don’t think it’s his fault, but rather that due to my mental health, anything he said or did just triggered something in me that either made me mad, or upset. This could be something simple like him moving my nutella jar! It was just to much. I’m splitting on friends too, which doesn’t help.

I’m also being taken off ALL of my medication in an attempt to “wipe the slate clean”. This is because of all the bad side effects and whatnot, the doctor thought it best to see what I’m like without any medication, this means they can give me the right medication for my non-medicated self. Does that make sense? Basically the next month of medication withdrawal is gonna be tough, combined with having to live back with my parents, is quite a scary concept.

Fear not, I have an application for housing, and I desperately hope to get my own place. I can’t afford private accommodation, as most local landlords don’t want people who are on benefits. Unfortunately with all my health issues both mental and physical, I can’t work right now. I genuinely believe that if I live by myself (well with my cat), that I will be much happier/content. I won’t have to feel isolated in my room, or overwhelmed by other people. I can choose when I want to interact with others, on my terms. I won’t feel anxious or fearful leaving my room, or feel unwelcome. I know I’m going to be beyond stressed living back with my parents, that’s why I moved out in the first place, but while my mental health is the way it is, it’s for the best.

 

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